My Family Is In My Scrapbooks

My Family Is In My Scrapbooks



By MICHAEL A. BENGWAYAN





Baguio City, Philippines – Where did you last see yourself and your family enjoying a happy get-together or bowing your heads in reverence to a passing relative?



For me, it is in my scrapbooks. They contain my family. A dried flower, a pressed rose petal, photos of kids with impish looks, a postcard from an unknown place, faded drawings of my grandparents chanting prayers—they are magic touchstones in my scrapbook that keep those I love with me forever.



I always love making scrapbooks. Once in elementary, I had the best one in my class.



Scrapbooks can be in the mind but it is best when you can hold and see them. You can’t do that to your memory.



Once, I thought of my father’s death. It seemed as if, everywhere I went, something awoke painful memories—the oil of his 1950 Ford clunker, the deck of cards which accompanied him for Russian poker and his piercing smile. But the memories are best preserved in my scrapbooks—when he hit a homer, the time hr brought me my first barbershop and when we grabbed frogs for dinner at a nearby creek.



Make Something Memorable



In making scrapbooks, remember that you are doing something once that might be turned into a family tradition. Choose family ceremonies for scrapbooks, they provide some of the most cherished memories.



I used to have a small fire outside our yard every evening of weekends and gather my children. While they roast sweet potato, sausages and burn marshmallows over the embers I read them stories of great and infamous men and people of the world—of Genghis Khan, Alexander the Great, Kemal Ataturk, the wars between Mesopotamia and Greece and even the Peking Man.



Those stories are one reason our family outings remain so memorable. We have photos of those evenings. I have a burned page of the history book I read pasted in my scrapbook



To make the ordinary unforgettable requires only that we look at everyday events with eyes open to the symbolism they hold as a metaphor of love. Whether it’s lighting the first fire during the cold months or going for a forest hike on summer, it becomes memorable when we do it and capture it on scrapbooks because we do it with appreciation and self-ceremony.

Lock In Special Moments



Having nearly lost my life three times, I have learned to make an effort to capture the lovely moments of my life. Whenever I sense that a moment is perfect, I take a photo or pick up an object—a stone, leaf, flower, -- that represents that moment and take it home. I mark the object, putting the date, place and time of the even and add it to my scrapbook.



When my only son was born, for instance and it was his first time to be bathed by my wife in an open tub in our yard with a friendly sunshine, I captured the pungent smell of the soap and water, of the sun’s warmth on the baby’s face and his shrieks—all in my handy-cam and camera. The videotape and the photos are in my scrapbooks bringing to mind happy awareness that on that day, everything seemed perfect and free.



It is especially important to help children lock in their memories, because they seldom have long term recall of early experiences. You can do this by letting them write what they remember or by writing down what you have witnessed and recalling it to them after a few years.



Collect Reminders



My early childhood friend who soon became my assistant for 15 years in doing forest conservation work in the Philippines, now in Canada, keeps in his pocket a key holder that contains a fossilized insect. It was given by his father. The fossil reminds him where his great grandparents came from, Sagada—a beautiful tourist-frequented town north of the Philippines which has giant limestone formations with fossils.



“I remember my hometown and my parents when I feel the small stone in my pocket. I am reminded how much we were loved by my parents”, he quipped.



Special things mean special people and special l memories. Think carefully before you throw away drawings, letters, pictures, objects, postcards, greetings cards, call cards, or toys.



They maybe your children’s first scribbling, drawing or property. Don’t assume because you are not interested at 25, in keeping family treasures, that you’ll feel the same way later in life...



It is also important to invest in future memories. For instance, knowing that it will be your parents’ anniversary, prepare an occasion, a bunch of flowers or candies. Give it to them and capture the surprise and happiness in their faces with a picture and a petal, leaf or wrapping from the flowers or chocolates.



You may never know if you will be around or they will be around for the next anniversary.



Into everyone’ life comes such opportunities. Sometimes, it is a simple thing—a parent’s decision on a lovely morning, forego chores and the laundry to walk around the neighborhood with her daughter. Or an impulsive visit to sick neighbor you have never been in conversation with.



It’s the composite of such moments when you take time for another person that creates a kind of memory collage. Bits of kindness stick to pieces of caring and they’re all pasted together to form beautiful memories—and a scrapbook. /30